We have just returned from an overnight visit in New Martinsville, WV. The long drive for a short visit was prompted by the need to see one ten-year-old girl who who calls me Gramma. I do love this little girl and just needed to give her a big hug and spend a little time with her.
The hardest part of the trip is always trying to answer the many questions she always asks about her dad. Her father was our foster son. Todd came to live with us when he was fifteen years old. In my heart he became my son, but unfortunately Todd was not able to make that same commitment. We were the end of a long line of parental figures in his life and he was just not able to make another intimate attachment. He was a sweet boy who definitely livened up our household. When he finished high school we sent him to a small college in West Virgina were he fell in love with and married a West Virginia girl. They were married for four years and had a beautiful little girl, our Michaela. Marriage, commitment and responsibility were hard for Todd and one day he just left. He came to see us for Christmas five years ago. We had a great visit. After a week he climbed back into his big truck and drove away. We have not heard anything from him since then. Well, almost nothing. A couple of years after he left we hired a private detective who found him in Iowa. He did call to talk. He said he knew we loved him, but it was hard for him to talk to us. Life was hard for him right then. He would call us when he was able. He has not called.
So Michaela asks us about her dad. She wants to know about him. We tell her some of the funny things he did while he lived with us. She laughs at some of the funny antics we remember. When she asks if he will ever come back we have to say that we don't know, but probably not. Something inside of her daddy got broken a long time ago. He is missing out on so much and that is sad. She is a well loved, happy little girl. We are grateful that we get to be her grandparents.
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1 year ago
7 comments:
And she is one blessed little scudder to have you in her life. Her dad's story is sad but the way you present it to her, focusing on the positive and being honest about the brokenness...ding dong, Mom, that is going to go a long way to keeping that little one whole.
Keep praying for him...you are not alone in this sad dilemma, many others have and are going through he very same thing....God will answer our prayers. PLus He has blessed you so richly with the g-babies. Hope all of you have a wonderful 4th! You're fabulous!
You're an angel mom..now I've got something in my eye.
She is blessed to have you both as her grandparents. I remember her Dad as having a good sense of humor and a great big smile when he smiled.
I hope someday he will come back.
You're a blessing in both of their lives. That must be hard for you to deal with...I wish she could know her daddy too.
Sometimes we never know the outcome of our love.
Our oldest grandson has a friend who was a foster child and placed with people who viewed it as a business. He can't form attachments either. Michaela is lucky to have you and so is Todd. Love is the strongest force - I have faith he will come around.
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