While we were coming home from our trip to the salt marshes in Cape May our boat was hit by the wake of a bigger boat with a careless captain. We were pitched back and forth pretty hard. Our captain was angry and said it always made him mad when people went sailing through life without ever thinking about what they were leaving behind them. “People should be careful about their wake!” was what he said. I immediately thought of another song sung by the Four Bitchin’ Babes that talks about leaving something beautiful in our wake.
When we had our will done a few months ago the lawyer said the one thing we needed to do now was to write an ethical will or a legacy letter. It is not a legal document. It is a letter of what you what you want to tell your family, the things you want them to hear from you one more time. I’ve been trying to think of what to put into such a letter and I just don’t know what I want to say. Should I just recount some good stories and memories? Should I just tell them how much I love them? Should I talk about faith and hope? What kind of things would you want to hear in a letter from someone you loved? Is it important to write such a letter? Haven’t I already told them all the things I should say?
"For Carolyn" by Pat Crawford Brown: When we were small and ocean waves were highI'd run across the sand and call"Please! Wait for me!"you waited patiently without a sighthen hand in hand we'd face each waveoh, we were so brave back thendo you still wait beyond the waveand can you hear my rhyme?if so, I'll wait here on the sandI promise to be bravejust tell me when it's timeand hold my hand
"Something Beautiful" by Christine Lavin As sad days go it was a bad oneshe died way too soonher friends and her family gatheredlike rings around the mooneverybody had a storyhow she touched each lifeshe was a mom, a sister, an aunt, a volunteer,a grandmother, friend, a wife her poems and watercolorswere lovingly displayedbeach scenes and summer dreams never fadeoutside a breeze was swirlingthe stars across the skyinside the grief washed over usas we said good-bye But she left something beautiful in her wake as our spirits sink, our voices break her work remains for us to see her paintings and her poetry she left something beautiful here on earth we mourn her death, but celebrate her birth she’s on a journey we all will someday make and look, she left something beautiful in her wake As bad days go it was a sad oneflowers ringed the roomcousins greeted cousins they haven’t seensince that wedding back in Junebut it was June of 1990amazing how time flieswe never seem to get togetherunless someone marries or someone dies Remember all those baby pictures?they’re those teenagers over therewe secretly are thankful no nose ringsor spiky purple hairthey do not remember usbut you know, that’s OKit's enough that we are hereand reconnecting today She left something beautiful in her wake they quietly cry, their young hearts ache her children’s children, her legacy with her paintings and her poetry she left something beautiful here on earth we mourn her death, but celebrate her birth she's sailing where waves never break and look, she left something beautiful in her wake We have all gone home now back to the working grind I can't help but think about those things we leave behind As I sit in traffic pound the steering wheel inch along this highway pray my soul will heal You've got to leave something beautiful in your wake as you sail on for heaven's sake leave something good at the end of each day to help us through, light our way leave something beautiful we can share to make us glad that you are there you may drift off course and make mistakes but you can still . . . Leave something beautiful in your wake keep your spirits up, whatever it takes leave something good at the end of the day to help us through, to guide our way give us something beautiful we can share to make us glad that you’re still there you may drift off course, and make mistakes but you can still leave something beautiful in your wake leave something beautiful in your wake . . .
4 comments:
I've never heard of an ethical will or legacy letter but I think it's a wonderful idea. I know some folk make videos for their loved ones to view once they're gone but I'd be at a loss as to what to say. I'm anxious to hear from your other commenters about their thoughts on this matter.
I haven't quite read your entire blog from the beginning, but from what I have read.. this endeavor will be a wonderful legacy for your children and grandchildren and the generations beyond.
no words...but a very big hug.
I would love to make a video to leave. that would be cool. I think a legacy letter is a great idea as well although I've never heard of one either. I want a video for my funeral so that I can make sure that at least some people are still laughing.
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