Todd is our foster son. He came to live with us when he was fifteen years old. He was a sweet boy with a long, troubled past. I never did learn all the stories of his life before he became part of our family. I know there were stories of abandonment, fear and abuse. All that seemed irrelevant to us. He was a boy in need of a home. We had a home that seemed too empty after our kids had grown and gone.
The picture above was taken shortly after he came to live with us. He did not trust people. We were just the next people in line to take care of him. There had been at least ten parental figures in his life before we knew him. He came to us from a children's home. He always referred to it as “The Home.” It never was just home. Our first year together was one of many ups and downs and adjustments. He became our son. We loved him. When he got into some major trouble he quietly packed his bags and prepared to leave. In his past life getting into trouble meant getting kicked out and moving on to the next place. We made him unpack and he stayed. I smiled when I overheard him talking to his friends and he referred to us as his mom and dad and invited his friends to come home with him. Life smoothed out. He learned to drive. He graduated from high school. The picture below was taken when he was seventeen. He was a beautiful boy.
He married and had a little baby girl, but adult responsibility was too hard for Todd. The social worker said he was troubled with attachment deficit syndrome. I believe that his early life had left him with a hole in his heart. One day he climbed into his truck and just drove away. We have not heard from him in over six years. I miss him.
His eleven year old daughter promised me this week that she would always love me. She promised she would never disappear like her daddy did.
7 comments:
Just seeing the second picture made me want to cry after seeing the first. He was holding a lot in the first and you allowed him to put it down and find some peace, that's clear. I hope Todd comes home for a hug soon.
Oh Sue, I am crying as I type this. I love what you offered Todd but I also loved Todd so much. I loved him as a little boy at camp...he would bring me wildflowers...face turned up and beaming. I loved his 16th birthday party when you gave him keys...keys to your house, keys to your cars, keys to your life. You told him that everything you owned was also his...he was a part of your family...not an extra but part. I would love to wrap my arms around Todd again.
Oh how utterly devastating to all of you and Todd. No wonder you still grieve ---may he find the Lord and come back to all of you someday soon--this is so sad Mom...heavy heavy sigh. He is such a handsome boy in these pix. Your grand daughter is lucky to have you too...hugs friend.
Tonight, I found my Dad, he disappeared on me 11 years ago. I have send him a message and because my Son Tomas and my daughter Mia want to meet their grand dad, I hope he responds with something positive.
You are such a lively lady, and warm and inviting. I hope he finds it in his heart to come back to you again.. home.
How sad :(
I hope Todd remembers his past birthdays with you and calls home someday soon.
He would remember your love and kindness as a light filled part of his life. Who knows, one day he may just walk back into your life and say hello
One thing I have learned over the last few years is some wounds take many many many years to heal. And some heal only in the presence of God.
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