Census

I just mailed in our census form. This is the seventh time I have been officially counted. I was born in 1941, so I was first counted in 1950 at the age of almost nine. I was the youngest of three children in our household of five people. In 1960 I was living away from home at nursing school. According to the rules I should have been counted as part of the school's count. I wonder if my parents included me in their household count that year? I'll never know. I was busy during the sixties and by the census of 1970 I was the mother of four children and lived in a household of six people. In 1980 everyone was still at home and again we were a household of six. There were a lot of changes during the eighties. Children grew up, went to college, got married and began to have children of their own. My nest felt empty and we became the foster parents of a teen-aged boy. For the census of 1990 we were a household of three. In 2000 we were a household of two very busy working adults. The form I mailed today says two old white people live here.

I wonder what my granddaughter fills in as her race. Her father, my son, is white. Her mother's racial heritage is black, white, American Indian and a little Chinese.

How many times have you been counted in an official U.S. Census?
How many people dwell in your house?

The Help

I stayed up way too late this week reading. I just finished “The Help,” by Kathryn Stockett. It is the story of three women living in Mississippi during the sixties. Two of the women are black maids in white households in a very racist world. These women tend to all the domestic chores and raise the babies for the white families that employ them. The book talks of the affection, love, abuse, shame and fear that are part of the complicated relationships in an unequal world. The third woman is a young white college graduate who is also trapped in this racist, sexist world. Their lives become intertwined as they work together on a project to share the stories of these black women. I cried, I laughed, I cheered and felt hot anger in this poignant story. If you enjoy feeling part of the story of humanities small triumphs over evil, read this book. It will leave you thinking about it's message for many days.

Spring Yellow

blahs

Today is one of my weepy days when everything just feels sad and a bit overwhelming. My life is full of more blessings than I deserve. I have a wonderful husband, children and grandchildren who love me, and an unwavering faith in a loving God. I should feel happy, but today I am just so aware of past hurts and their unwanted consequences. I thought I had forgiven and moved on, but I guess not quite completely. Forgiveness seems to be something you have to do over and over again. There were lies and accusations and hurtful words that have left painful scars. My children and grandchildren were wounded badly. We moved on. We found new paths and new ways and new places. We tried to forgive. Today I am angry all over again and trying again to forgive again and to move on again.

I will be better, but today life is painful.

Good- Bye Rush

Listening to the majority of the people, congress tonight passed the health care reform bill.
Has Rush started packing yet? I hope he leaves quickly.

Two Saint Patrick's Day Birthdays

I always thought it was very cool that my big brother celebrated his birthday on Saint Patrick's Day. It just seemed like a fun day in my world. Today Bill is 75 years old. Life has been very hard for the past two years. His beloved wife suffered a terrible head injury in a fall. She has been in the hospital since that fall. Bill is a good man and a faithful husband. Not a day passes that he not at his beloved's bedside. There is no where else that he would rather be. Some days are better than others, but it is a difficult time. He does not laugh very often. I love this picture of my big brother taken a few month's ago at a niece's wedding. It makes me smile to see him laughing and having fun.



On Bill's thirty-fourth birthday I presented him with a new nephew. My youngest child arrived in the world on Saint Patrick's Day and joined his uncle in celebrating an Irish birthday. Last year when Paul turned forty the family took him to an Irish pub in Baltimore. It was a fun celebration. After that celebration Paul decided it was time to start taking better care of his health. He has been dieting and exercising a lot this year. He has lost fifty pounds and plans to lose another fifty. This summer he is planning to enter a 5K race. Next year I plan to post a picture of a much thinner, healthier birthday boy.

Happy birthday Bill.
Happy birthday Paul.

Murray Hill

I'm reading a murder mystery by Margaret Truman. It is a good who-done-it about the murder of a senator's wife. I don't know yet who the murderer is. I am bothered by one of the main themes in the story. It tells a tale of corporate money buying the legislation the corporation wants. With enough money any senator or congressman or judge can be bought. It demonstrates how easy it is to corrupt congress. It is scary because it is so true. The supreme court has ruled that corporations have the same rights as individuals and can give unlimited money to buy an election. A corporation here in Maryland has taken this decision to the next logical step and has filed to run for congress. This way the corporation can be sure to vote for it's own best interest.

Vote for Murray Hill!

Hospitality

Next Sunday I am participating in a discussion about the importance of hospitality. I am looking for a definition and some examples. I'd appreciate some answers to these two questions.

1.What is hospitality?

2.When did someone show you meaningful hospitality?

Retreat

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

I spent the weekend in the Pennsylvania mountains with forty of my girlfriends. We were all attending a women's retreat called “The Art Of Prayer.” It was a beautiful weekend filled with sunshine, laughter, prayers, a few tears and an inspirational speaker. The speaker was my older daughter. She shared her journey of faith with words and music that inspired a room full of women. I sat there just amazed. My little girl has not always had an easy life. There have been some very dark and scary moments. She told about some of those moments and the fear and pain she experienced. Then she told about God's faithfulness and love that brought her to where she is now.

I was overwhelmed with pride and love. It was a weekend full of moments that just took my breath away.

When have you experienced a moment that just took your breath away?

Hate

I was horrified this morning when I learned that a hate group picked our local high school for one of their demonstrations. When my daughter dropped her kids off at school this morning there was a group of people exercising their freedom of speech by carrying hateful signs. My grandchildren and all the other kids were greeted with signs that were horrid. They said things like;

"God hates you" "God hates Obama" "God hates fags" "America is doomed" "God loves dead soldiers" and “God hates football, the devil's sport.”

These signs were carried by some crazies from Kansas who were inspired to pick our school after a young football player collapsed and died while running during an off-season workout. This was apparently a punishment from God because football is evil.

I felt contaminated just knowing these hate mongers were present in my town. I know hate groups exist, but this is the closest they have been to me. According to the Southern Poverty Law Center there were 926 active hate groups in the US in 2009, 13 of them are in my own state of Maryland. Most of them are some sort of white supremest group, a few are black supremest and a few are Islamic supremest group. The group that demonstrated at our high school was listed as a general hatred group.

The police kept the demonstrators and all others apart. There were no major incidents and the hatemongers left shortly after school started.

How do people get so filled with hate? Is there any way to teach love and tolerance to these folks? I just don't understand. Is there anything we can or should do that would lessen the hatred?

“God is Love.”

A Good Weekend

It's March! In my part of the world March is coming in like a lamb, with sunshine and melting snow. I guess it will roar out like a lion in a few weeks.

Our snowy February ended with a most pleasant weekend.

Friday I made a big pot of chili and entered it into a chili cook-off. I was competing against such dishes as Road-Kill Chili, John's Triple Hot Chili and ten other varieties. My “Just Chili” won first place! I am so proud.

We got up Saturday morning and went to our new exercise class. About forty mostly older adults sweated and laughed our way through two hours of working out in a class called Get Off Your A**. After working so hard we obviously needed to go out for lunch. Any excuse for eating out is good enough for me.

The highlight of the weekend came in the mail on Saturday. The letter from our grandson the new airman was the first we had heard since he arrived for basic training in Texas. He sounded good and we felt relieved. It seems the Air Force is very particular about how a bed is made and our boy made his bed fifteen times one day. All in all, even though it is the hardest thing he has ever done, he sounded upbeat and positive. It was good to know he really is doing OK.

Sunday morning I played in the bell choir at church. The bells, when done right, fill the church with such a glorious noise. Even when not done right they make me happy. I think God smiles when we praise Him with music.

We watched the hockey game Sunday afternoon. Even though Team USA lost the game, it was a well-played, exciting game. I couldn't help but rejoice with the happy Canadians. I will miss the Olympics. It has been fun to watch those amazing athletes.

A friend of ours is an amazingly talented pianist. Sunday evening she invited us to attend a dress rehearsal for concert she is is doing next weekend at Carnegie Hall. She is accompanying a Mongolian opera singer. The vocalist had a beautiful voice. She sang the most beautiful Mongolian arias I have ever heard. At the end of the concert I felt like I had just been to Carnegie Hall, except it was free and five minutes from home.

What did you do this weekend?

Civil Rights

Two of the places we visited on our recent road trip were the Civil Rights Institute and the 16th Street Baptist church in Birmingham, Alabama. The institute is across the street from this historic church where four little girls were killed in a bomb blast during the struggle for civil rights during the 60s. Walking through these two buildings was emotionally draining. I felt much like I did after visiting the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC. Scene after scene depicted of the horrors people did to other people because of racism and fear. Bombings like the one that killed the four little girls were common. Lynchings happened far too frequently. Bigotry was considered a virtue for the genteel white South during these times. Brutal inequality was legally sanctioned. It took great courage by many people to change the laws. The blatant bigotry of those years is no longer legal. Attitudes have softened in many places. I am grateful for the progress that has been made in race relations. The sad thing I noticed is that these same attitudes are not very far from the surface in many places. While on our trip last month I heard folks complaining about blacks trying to come to white churches and how uncomfortable it was for the white worshipers. Since public schools can no longer be segregated, most white kids go to private schools so they can be protected from other races.

While great strides have been made in giving equal rights to all people there is still much to do. Racism and bigotry of all sorts still is common. The world is still too much divided into “us “ and “them.”

Have you ever experienced racism and bigotry? What did you do about it?

This & That

I finished the jigsaw puzzle that I started for entertainment during our first blizzard. I think that means our bad winter is coming to an end. The sun has been shining and my dragon's teeth icicles fell off the back of the house. The mountains of snow along the roads are starting to melt. I can almost hear spring coming.

I went to an Ash Wednesday service at church. I grew up in a non-liturgical religious tradition and the observation of Lent is a new thing in my life. It seems to me that many of the “sacrifices” people make during Lent have little to do with enriching their faith, but I do like the whole concept of spending a period of time giving extra thought to God and his amazing grace. I am praying my way through the Psalms as my Lenten discipline. Are you doing anything to observe Lent?

My newly retired husband has gone to NASA this morning to pick up his new badge. Is anybody surprised that he is now working part time for a contractor? He will be returning part time to his old desk doing the work he always enjoyed doing.

After missing rehearsal last week because of the snow it was good to return to practice with the senior chorale. Our spring concert this year will be a collection of songs from recent Broadway hits like Wicked, Rent and Les Miserables. It is going to be a fun concert. One of my favorite songs is “For Good,” from the musical Wicked. The lyrics say that people come into our lives for a reason. “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” Is there someone who passed through your life and changed you for good?

My younger son has had a serious weight problem for several years and seemed helpless to control his growing waist line. About six months ago he joined a new weight loss support group and found a diet that he has been able to stick with. Since beginning this new program he has lost 40 pounds and has shrunk his waist by ten inches. I am so proud of him. He is feeling much better and seems much happier with life because he has started to take off the pounds.

Life is just putzing along here. What's going on in your part of the world?

Liberal

I am a liberal person. Being liberal seems to me to be right and good. I don't understand why anyone would call being liberal a bad thing. I looked up some synonyms for liberal. I like all of them. These words all describe the kind of person I want to be. Synonyms include words like tolerant, broad-minded, bountiful, giving, generous and big-hearted. Antonyms include words like narrow-minded and stingy. I have always been taught that as a Christian I should be generous in my giving and help those who are in need. Being liberal seems to me to be a virtue.

My politics reflects my understanding of what I think is right. Giving generously to those in need, helping the weak, and being open-minded about things about which there are many opinions are things that I think are important. I see and hear these ideals voiced and practiced in larger measure by the democratic party, so I am a democrat.

I am disappointed in the failure of politicians in both parties to move past their short term political gains, their quest for power and their greed. I was sad today when Senator Bayh said he would not seek re-election because congress is broken. He sees no way he can effectively serve the people of this county in our corrupt and ineffective congress. The corruption on both sides of the aisle make it impossible to do anything that would be good for the people of this nation. It just makes me want to cry.

I don't know any way to fix what ails our political system. It is a mess.

My Valentine

Fifty years ago this weekend I was in the mountains near Big Bear Lake in California. I was enjoying a snow party with a bunch of college kids. We played in the snow and I tried to learn to ski. I was never able to make it all the way up the rope tow on the kiddie hill without falling down. Going down the hill was even worse. Every time I started going I would get scared, panic and fall down. I had these long skis attached to my feet and they made getting up very difficult. It was not a pretty sight. At the end of the day I was cold, sore and tired. I decided then that skiing was not my sport. I like activities where I do not get cold and do not include falling down and embarrassing myself. I am totally impressed with the skill and grace of the Olympic skiers.

The part of the weekend that included sitting by the big fireplace with my friends was wonderful. I had been dating a young Cal-tech student for a few months. He gave me a valentine that weekend that he had carefully picked to say just what he wanted to say. It said, “Happy Valentine's Day to someone I like a lot.” He wasn't quite ready to say more than that. Three months later he asked me to marry him. The next year, and every year since, he has given me mushy valentines that declare his love. That first valentine was the most memorable.

I am indeed blessed to be his valentine.

More Snow

Blizzard number two blew through here yesterday and broke all records. This winter we have had over eighty inches of snow. For an area that goes many winters with no snow that is a lot of snow. This part of the world has pretty much stopped.

The pictures of my firstborn and my young husband taken in 1965 show a more typical snow for Maryland.

Air Force

Our twenty year old grandson left yesterday. His parents took him to the recruiters office and then to the military check-in at a hotel near the airport. He took his official oath at 5AM today and is now an official member of the US Air Force. He is on his way to San Antonio and basic training.

Stay safe John.

Snow

It snowed. It snowed a lot. The blizzard that blew through our part of the world left us over three feet of snow with drifts piling up deeper than that. The storm effectively brought our town to a close. Churches, schools, stores and even the federal government have ground to a halt. It is beautiful looking out. The plows have been working hard and it now possible to get out of the neighborhood, but it is a pretty rough ride. We are grateful to be home. Being snowbound at home is far better than being snowbound in a small motel in Tennessee. We are also very grateful for our family who came and dug us out yesterday. The sun is shining today, but another storm is predicted for tomorrow.

Digging out


Our snow shoveling crew

My Grandparents

I loved my grandparents. Staying with them in their Texas home was one of the highlights of my childhood. My grandfather was a preacher of the gospel. He was not a very well educated man, but he did know his Bible. We made a game of reading a verse from anywhere in scripture and seeing if he could quote the verse following. He always won. The man had the entire book memorized. I thought he was one of the smartest men in the world. When he was a young preacher he traveled all over Texas holding revival meetings. Families would travel long distances by buggy to hear him preach. My grandmother adored him. She was the perfect preacher's wife. They were married in 1904 and raised five children. They had a long and happy marriage.

I was excited when my cousin gave me the photo album from their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Along with the old pictures the album contains many cards and letters from well wishers. They were all addressed to Brother Fowler and wife. (All grown-ups in the church of my childhood were referred to as Brother or Sister.) When I found the letter my grandfather wrote to my grandmother on the occasion of their golden wedding anniversary I was eager to see what he had said. It seems like a strange and sad love letter to me. I have copied his handwritten letter. How do you feel about this love letter?

“To My Beloved and Faithful Wife
50 years ago today

At first that my seem a long time, but yet the years have passed so swiftly it seems but a little while. Many have been your trials and great have been the disappointments of your life. I wish it were otherwise, but I can not go back to the yesterdays of our life and correct them. The best I know that is left for for me to do is, “I pray that you may have the grace to forgive all the many mistakes I have made.”

The days of our life have been busy days, filled with toil and troubles, yet I am glad to have had you as my companion in it all. I know you have done your part well and faithfully.

The days of our “tomorrow,” at best, can not be many and they will soon be spent. Until the silver cord is broken (loosed) let us try to be cheerful and helpful to each other. May our last days be our best days together. We have climbed the hill of life to the point from which we are able to see far back over the valley of the past where lies the regrets of many things that tend to grieve us, but forgetting these things let us look ahead to the better things further up the way that leads to him who is our life and our our hope. We do not now see him in his fullness but soon he will appear and then we shall see him as he is and then our vile and wrinkled bodies shall be changed and we shall be made like unto the glorious Lord who all along life's way has been watching and waiting for our coming.

It is my hope that the sum of our lives together may be a heritage to our beloved children for whose lives we have a great responsibility.

May we be able to remember all the virtues in the lives of each other and forgive and forget all the vices of whatever nature they may have been.

I know not what you would appreciate most that I might give you on this memorial day, therefore accept this and with it get for yourself whatever will please you most.

God bless you forever and ever.
Your hubby”

Winter Road Trip

I'm looking out the window at another school-closing snow. I'm very grateful to be looking at this snow from the windows of home. Maryland is better prepared to handle snow than Tennessee where it almost never snows. After two days the interstate and main roads there were cleared, but the side streets were never plowed. People in Tennessee don't own snow shovels and we never saw a cleared driveway. It seems they just wait for the snow to melt.

Our winter road trip through the deep south was a wonderful experience. Each day was different from the day before, full of different sights and emotions. It will take me a while to sort out the stories from this trip.


The best part of our journey was visiting friends and family that we seldom see. People are what make life's journey so interesting. After spending two night's snowbound in a lovely Hampton Inn we finally ventured out and made it to the home of our good friends, Guy and Joanne. We have been friends for forty-five years. When we saw one another the years fell away and we talked non-stop until sleep overtook us. It was so good to see them. We had to intended to see several other friends in Nashville, but the storm made that impossible. Maybe next time.


Our most unusual visit was with my first cousin, Dot. Last time I saw her she was an infant and I was a young teen. She grew up in Alabama. I grew up in California. We had very different childhoods and have led very different lives. Although she has memories of my mom, she has no memories of me. We had completely lost touch until last year when through the wonders of a facebook we found each other and began to get acquainted. We met at a restaurant in Birmingham where we talked until the place closed and they made us leave. It was so much to fun to learn family stories that I had never heard. She gave me a wonderful gift, a photo album from my grandparents golden anniversary party. It contains pictures of me, age sixteen, in charge of the guest book on that occasion. The cards and letters it contains are definitely from another time. I will have to share them in another post. The letter from my grandfather to my grandmother seemed sad and strange to me.

When was the last time you visited with old friends or long-lost relatives?